is strange.

i have my mothers side which includes 18 cousins, my granny and gumpy, my mom, her 5 sisters and 3 brothers, and their spouses. all in all i have ALOT of family members and every single one of them is just as fucked up as the next.
the kids in the family are also quite fucked up. we have our own silent issues that we sometimes talk about amongst eachother. but not often.
i am the youngest of the grandchildren, not counting aunt julies sisters kids. theyre not blood related and they just recxently came into the family. so i missed out on alot of the fun kid stuff that happened before i was born. my oldest cousin is 30. the youngest other than me is also 15, and the one next to him is 18.
in our family, everyones business is everyone elses business. even if you ran away to the city, leaving behind McHenry county like my mom did. there are alot of secrets too. things that we never want to get to other members of the family. because they are judgemental, negitive people.

on my dads side, its just me, my dad, my grandparents and my aunt sandra.
another FUCKED UP family.
my grandma lives to eat, sleep, collect cats, and bring you down as much as she can. theres nothing she likes more than to completely destroy your happiness.
My dad still lives with his parents. he is a recovering alcoholic. i havent lived with him since i was a year old. half of me hates him and the other half wants to help him. i want to rescue him and get him out of that house. move him into an apartment closer to me so i can teach him how to be a father. how to live his own life, and how to stay happy. but it will never happen. he works in a gas station for minimum wage. definetely not enough to get an apartment.
my grandpa works at night as an entertainer. he plays the piano. i rarely see him. he sleeps all day. hes smart. hes not leaving his wife, hes just escaping her.
My aunt....shes awesome. she got out the second she could and started making a life for herself. shes fun and happy all the time. i love her, she makes it seem like i can be different too.

And yesterday was my mom and her boyfriend Johns 1 year anniversarry. I now have another family. ive had sevral "step-families" since i was a kid, but i actually like this one. I have a step sister kellie, who is aweesssooommmeee. shes a year older than me, but im definetely more mature. I also have an 8 year old step brother Johnny. he is the sweetest thing ever. he loves attention. he always wants people to be looking at him. i think it has to do wth the fact that at his biological moms house, he is completely ignored. I think he also feels kinda left out of the family though. he cant participate in "family smokes" or any of the conversations we have. Kellie is always telling him to get away from her and the adults are just soooo busy. when kellie has work, him and his dad come to my house to spend time with my mom. Johnny chills in my room listening to MCR on my ipod and plays with my lighter. hes a total pyro. lol. i let him light the candles in my room for fun. as long as im watching him, its ok. today he asked me to borrow his hoodie. lol he always sees me and my sister sharing clothes and stuff, i think he just wanted to be involved in the sharing of clothes. haha.
His grandma is AWESOME! she listens to metal, and loves to talk. but its not "old lady" talk. her soul is young. I enjoy talking to her its fun, we all have good conversations with her.
this family is messed up too, but i like it. i fit in with them.
its crazy that i dont get along well with my biological families. but i do with this one.